I'm sure it is awkward for you 'cupcakesprinkles123' AKA - 'Jimmy Malloy', world champion cage fighter, bare knuckle veteran and dwarf tossing legend!!!
@chunkymonkey I think there may be more reasons then one a female may choose to not disclose their gender here, female presence generally attracts at least _some_ male attention, for reasons of gender alone. Some (like my girlfriend for example) come to lichess to play chess not asked the 21st equivalent of "a/s/l?" :P
The 21st century of it is easily rendered by removing the two obliques. So much for directness.
#31 seriously chunkymonkey?
@gh057
Male attention isn't the problem - the wrong kind of male attention is the problem.
In my experience, a/s/l and dating propositions are irritating, but not a huge issue because people generally accept "no" as an answer.
The problem is men who harass, stalk, bully, defame, and attack (vocally, i.e) women across the web, especially if someone makes the mistake of simply arguing with the wrong men about anything at all as a woman, especially about something like women's rights.
So, women have to extra careful on sites with a high population of people from catalyst countries, i.e countries with split populations and vocal radical movements.
I have had threatening private messages and emails on various websites just for having "Sofi" in my username and arguing with anyone about anything.
In the 21st century, it is a sad fact that there still are many people out there who are extremely offended when a woman does not obey them.
For english-speaking websites, large user populations from India and the USA (both major "catalyst countries") tend to be the worst for these people, even though the majority of people from both countries absolutely hate people like that.
Even though people who behave like this are a small minority, they are very real and undoubtedly willing to take action, and women have to be careful because of them.
As with the most of the problems in this world, a small bunch of idiots have to ruin things for everyone else.
Luckily, the user base of Lichess seems to be largely intelligent people, and I have had a sum total of zero bad experiences on the site.
Male attention isn't the problem - the wrong kind of male attention is the problem.
In my experience, a/s/l and dating propositions are irritating, but not a huge issue because people generally accept "no" as an answer.
The problem is men who harass, stalk, bully, defame, and attack (vocally, i.e) women across the web, especially if someone makes the mistake of simply arguing with the wrong men about anything at all as a woman, especially about something like women's rights.
So, women have to extra careful on sites with a high population of people from catalyst countries, i.e countries with split populations and vocal radical movements.
I have had threatening private messages and emails on various websites just for having "Sofi" in my username and arguing with anyone about anything.
In the 21st century, it is a sad fact that there still are many people out there who are extremely offended when a woman does not obey them.
For english-speaking websites, large user populations from India and the USA (both major "catalyst countries") tend to be the worst for these people, even though the majority of people from both countries absolutely hate people like that.
Even though people who behave like this are a small minority, they are very real and undoubtedly willing to take action, and women have to be careful because of them.
As with the most of the problems in this world, a small bunch of idiots have to ruin things for everyone else.
Luckily, the user base of Lichess seems to be largely intelligent people, and I have had a sum total of zero bad experiences on the site.
Precisely why one would have a good shot at dating or otherwise communicating amicably, and learning, had the many users here been hypothetically unveiled, as far as their interests were concerned. But as far as the human conditioning and bias is concerned and regarded in the post above, I and many here keep their nationality anonymous, so as to not be judged as . . . 'part of the same block'. That said, I've had good conversations with many fellow users here, of all ages. I have yet to come across women masking themselves under male-ish or otherwise ambiguous usernames, obviously perhaps because of them maintaining anonymity. Then again I wonder if the women folk here have had bad experiences, for most of us delve in basically more clicking across the chess board, than anything else.
#35 It's a bit of a tragedy if that is the case - that female players feel they have to hide their identity and I don't disagree that is the case if they fear what you're saying. However, I'd be more inclined to think that those hiding their identity would be doing so for the same reason gh057 mentioned which is purely unwanted attention.
I agree almost entirely with #36 - we tend to saddle ourselves with a stereo typing viewpoint so adopting a neutral profile name would avoid that....
I'm tempted to ask our resident cage fighter if she's had unwanted attention purely through her username but I don't want to get beaten :D
I agree almost entirely with #36 - we tend to saddle ourselves with a stereo typing viewpoint so adopting a neutral profile name would avoid that....
I'm tempted to ask our resident cage fighter if she's had unwanted attention purely through her username but I don't want to get beaten :D
yes im sure u wouldnt want to get beaten ;P
chess is such a wonderful thing for humanity, and being able to teach my girlfriend, and watch her develop to a level where I am truely impressed (and a bit nervous at the prospect of possible defeat :D) is something very special to me. It has increased her belief in her (understated) intellectual ability and is true joy to observe. It's sad to see such behaviour of the men you describe SofiKadaj, it sullies a completely positive experience for both parties.
#35 I'm glad you've had no problems here... I'm an egalitarian and I believe one's sex has nothing to do with one's chess playing - or pretty much anything else tbh :)
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